The content of the article:
- Auto horoscope from April 29 to May 5
- Aries
- Taurus
- Twins
- Crayfish
- a lion
- Virgo
- scales
- Scorpion
- Sagittarius
- Capricorn
- Aquarius
- Fish
Brand new signs, neat curbs, fresh markings - yes, from above, our paths look wonderful, and it feels like a lot of money was invested in the design. There is no need to even talk about advertising posters hung every meter - it would be better if this money was spent on the roads themselves, otherwise it shakes as if we were confused with linen and shoved into the washing machine. But should the chauffeurs be in sorrow ?! Spring, festive mood, happy pedestrians, cheerful traffic cops - the people celebrate the end of April, and the May holidays are at the same time. And the iron horses gallop merrily along the tracks and playfully mow with their headlights - the cars want to celebrate "Peace, May and Labor" and take a break from traffic jams.
Auto horoscope from April 29 to May 5
Aries
Aries, it's sad to stand in this raging traffic jam, swearing around, gasoline is at zero, but believe that someday in the future, there will not be so many cars on the roads. In the meantime, be patient - spring congestion, of course, enrages, but without them nowhere. You can take a risk and taxi into some inconspicuous alley, the main thing is, do not go where there is a sign "Repair" or "Detour" - there is already a traffic jam without you. And do not be alarmed if you meet traffic cops who are trying to perform the dance of little swans, or dance lambada. Probably, the guys celebrate the International Dance Day. Well at least they don't force drivers who have made a mistake to dance a waltz - with money it is somehow more familiar.
Taurus
Taurus, the moon is shining, flashlights are flickering, headlights are blinking - these April and May days, for some reason, your car is drawn to evening travel. Perhaps your iron horse is afraid of daylight, or hates traffic jams. Or maybe the machine does some secret affairs at night. Well, okay, the stars will not conduct an educational program in automotive psychology - this spring it is interesting on the roads without it. It is enough to look at the pedestrians - the guys walk in zigzags for some reason. Most likely, they celebrate the Day of Braided Feet - the chauffeurs do not need this holiday, and the traffic cops do not participate either (you won't earn much on braided legs, and you need to keep order).
Twins
Gemini, oh, how you want to fill the tank with cheap fuel again. And show the traffic cop a fist, so that he could not catch up. And even if we are stuck in a traffic jam again, and a pedestrian annoys, dreams come true for chauffeurs - and a happy turn awaits. Yes, there will be many road surprises for the drivers of your sign on these spring days. And some twist will surely bring joy. But watch out for bipeds - they behave strangely (maybe pedestrians cannot do otherwise, and this is their usual state ?!). Look, they roam in threes on the zebra, and the dogs also followed them. Everyone celebrates Jerome K. Jerome's birthday and rereads Three Men in a Boat, Not Counting a Dog. And where does the zebra - the road stars do not know.
Crayfish
Cancers, in these April and May days, the chauffeurs of your sign will have a gift - to attract unpleasant passengers. Remember where you bought the car fragrance - maybe you came across a fake, and it is toxic. How else to explain the behavior of fellow travelers in this spring. Either they ask for the wheel, then they enter into a dialogue with the traffic cops, then they stick their hands out the window - and even babies know that it is impossible to do this. In short, land them at the nearest stop, and drive alone. And if the traffic cops slow you down, treat them with cakes - congratulate the guys on Pastry Chef's Day, otherwise they are completely depressed (they will let go without talking, they will also wave a pen after them, and they will warn their own not to touch you).
A lion
Lions, and driving without traffic jams is more fun, and without traffic jams even a zebra will smile, and a pedestrian will dance on it, and a traffic light will turn on with a green light. And then the chauffeurs will surely be happy - alas, alas, this spring week one can only dream of free movement in space. There are about a hundred cars ahead, and there is even no point in looking back - those who are behind you are even worse. Conclusion - sit in the garage or call a taxi, or better a helicopter. But if you do get stuck in traffic, don't just stand there and do something. Wipe the glass, shake out the covers - the people celebrate the day on which the decree was adopted to strengthen the fight against parasitism. Look, even the traffic cops roused themselves and stopped lazily clicking the seeds.
Virgo
Virgo, you can feel the breed in your iron horse - you can immediately see that it was bought not anywhere, and you have been choosing a car for quite a long time. True, even the most wonderful car can break down on our roads - well, at least there are no special problems with the search for parts, and workshops are stumbled on every kilometer. Spend time on diagnostics - in this spring, a tricky breakdown may appear, which you will not immediately notice. If you see two-legged creatures crawling on a zebra and drawing some symbols, do not slow down - these are ciphers, and they have a professional holiday. Now it is clear why they cross the road as necessary - they are simply encrypted, or they have their own secret rules.
Scales
Libra, why are zebras painted on some of the back lanes? It seems that there are no villages nearby, and except for wild animals, no one walks along the tracks (maybe they are trained and follow the traffic rules). Okay, zebras, why are the traffic cops on duty there ?! Even there is no one to fine, one car a week will pass - already a holiday. But don't fill your driving head with such questions - this spring week you have other problems and tasks. You managed to change your shoes, but did not bother to change passengers. An iron horse requires vigorous companions - so that they sing songs and know how to negotiate with the traffic cops, well, they could pump up the wheel or measure the pressure (yes, not with you, but in the tires).
Scorpion
Scorpions, the traffic cop looks askance at us, and quietly moves his lips. And he waves his wand, they say, stop, the driver you press to the side of the road. He probably wants to fine us and show the numbers on the radar. Do not be afraid - you will not see anything special there, because you did not exceed the speed, did not cross a solid one, and in general, you are an exemplary chauffeur, and even your passengers are all fastened (oh, well done, they figured it out, and when they only had time). When you drive along the highways where road butterflies usually fly, pay attention to the hair color of the beauties - in this spring, almost all the girls became blondes. No, there were no instructions to repaint - they are celebrating the birthday of American actress Michelle Pfeiffer.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, here we have such mysterious places where puddles do not dry up all year round, and pits do not disappear (even though there is a ton of gravel in them, everything is useless). Maybe these are some anomalous zones - it's good that cars don't disappear there. Okay, you are already used to such phenomena, it is pointless to talk about traffic jams, and you are tired of it - the road stars want to talk about the amenities that await you on these April and May days. Gasoline, unfortunately, will not fall in price, reckless drivers will not grow wiser, pedestrians will not grow kinder. But then you will not meet with traffic cops (two or three times does not count). And do not be alarmed if you hear a siren - this is not an alarm signal, just people are celebrating Fire Day.
Capricorn
Capricorns, the route for this spring week has been drawn up correctly, and the horse will reach its destination without loss - the wheels will not fall off, the nuts will not be unscrewed, the steering wheel will remain in place. Well, if the passengers disembark somewhere, it doesn't matter - you'd better let the bus drivers load up with their chatter.But try not to wind more than one thousand kilometers - the iron horse is tired and needs rest. And the drivers of your sign are also tired - stretch out in the back seat, just make sure that your legs do not stick out of the passenger compartment (suddenly the traffic cop will sneak up and tickle). And at the end of the period, roll into nature - mark the Red Hill and do not forget to throw your painted testicles into the glove compartment.
Aquarius
Aquarians, some drivers enjoy the scent of a burnt clutch, while others generally enjoy inhaling gasoline vapors. But the chauffeurs of your sign do not go to such extremes and constantly update the fragrance in the cabin - either a Christmas tree, then citrus fruits, or the surf. They would have taught their passengers not to take off their shoes - otherwise, they took fashion, as soon as they climb into a car, they immediately throw off their shoes and go crazy, and socks don't smell like peaches. Here in a traffic jam and have a conversation with fellow travelers, at the same time hint that you are not obliged to carry everyone for free. And take some sandwiches with you - the roadside cafes serve only noodle soup. Yes, you guessed it right - everyone celebrates Noodle Soup Lovers Day.
Fish
Fish, a very expensive car got stuck in a deep-deep puddle. The question is - how much money can you cut if you offer your help and get the car out? If on these spring days you have free time and a reliable cable, take a chance, but negotiate prices on the shore. Or you can remember the chauffeur fraternity and pull out a wheelbarrow for free - and you will have happiness and advantages in driving karma. In general, this May-April week is full of surprises. Either a meeting with a kind uncle patrolman, now an acquaintance with a skilled repairman. And don't close the windows - celebrate the Day of Ride with the Wind. Eh, well, still the dirt would not fly into the face, and the stones would not fall into the cabin.
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